Thursday, August 4, 2011

Yahtzee!


What the heck is this?  I had no idea the children's game Battleship was about fighting aliens. Perhaps my recollection is rusty, but I remember a bunch of little gray ships and white and red pegs? As the game was invented in the late 1800s, I doubt this was what the inventors had in mind.
Taylor Kitsch and Liam Neeson in Battleship
In the new film, aliens are here to build a power source in earth's ocean.  Supposedly the film will show both the navy's perspective and the alien's perspective.  What?  What is going on here? Does everything have to be about aliens?  Why don't they just retitle this Transformers 4?  Worse yet, Taylor Kitsch, soon to be John Carter of Mars, is masquerading as Channing Tatum in this film.  Worse still, Battleship will feature Rihanna in her first starring role.  Now I feel like I'm on another planet.  I have nothing against Rihanna as a performer, but since when do popstars and action films mix?--at least not well.
Hasboro has seriously sold their soul.  Next stop, Candyland.  What are they thinking?  Where do they find these writers?  There are so many great writers in the blogosphere.  Please, Please, move to Hollywood. Why can't we just have a maritime action film?  What happened to films like The Hunt for Red October or The Abyss?
I don't know, perhaps I protest too much, as the trailer may not be without redemption. After all, this monstrosity will not be directed by Michael Bay.  Additionally, Alex Skarsgard plays Taylor's older brother and Liam Neeson plays the Admiral.  With names like Stone, Shane, and Hopper how can we go wrong, right?....right.  Now back to Alex Skarsgard, he's great.    
Alex Skarsgard as Stone Hopper
You be the judge?  Thankfully you have a long time to think it over.  May 18, 2012 to be exact.

15 comments:

  1. To me this is sound like a sequel for Battle Los Angeles, why don't they just retitle this "Sea Battle: Los Angeles" :) I know that sound silly :)

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  2. This sounds bad but I like Neeson, aliens took over from Nazis, Colombian drug lords and Russians in Hollywood.

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  3. eh, you wouldn't liam neeson it

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  4. @Jaccstev-- So true. If Aaron Eckhart were here things would be better.

    @Angry Lurker-- I really like Liam too and you're right, aliens have taken over from Nazis, Columbians for Russians. Hollywood is a one-hit wonder-- not so creative.

    @Tracirz-- Ha, yep!

    @Lunatic-- The Alex Skarsgard part looks amazing.

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  5. I can't believe they're making this into a movie either. What's next - Yahtzee?

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  6. Wait... the movie isn't seriously pretending to be an adaptation of the board game, is it?

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  7. Yeah Hasbro was having battleship and clue turned into films. There was the original clue film with Tim Curry. But the recent one got dropped from Universal but hasbro is still looking for someone to pick it up.

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  8. Battlefield Los Angeles goes to sea

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  9. this look like a badass movie! totally gonna watch this one!

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  10. A Shark Bear uprising would spell the end of human civilization, I am sure....
    Give them the intelligence of a dolphin, and we'd all be slaves to the Shark Bear race within a year.

    By the way -- I don't know how the heck my name was dropped from your follower list like that. I came by, and saw that I was no longer a follower, and I swear I have no idea how that happened.

    Don't worry -- I wasn't offended in the least bit by anything you posted in my comments. I find such suggestions quite helpful, actually.

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  11. @Alex-- I think their next film will be the 12-hour epic of Monopoly. :)

    @SubRadar-- Yep, isn't that something? Don't you remember battling aliens while playing Battleship? :)

    @Slowd-- I wonder if Clue will feature an alien butler?

    @Natural-- That's exactly what this is. Except Battle: LA was actually somewhat decent. Aaron Eckhart really made that movie. Also there wasn't any syrup-soppy love story in the background. Battle: LA was just pure action.

    @Batow-- Ha, I hope so. I'm a little worried about it, but I'll if it gets half-way decent reviews, I may give it a try.

    @Andrew-- Seriously, I would much rather watch a movie about sharkbears. Good to know about the other thing. I really enjoy your blog.

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  12. Thank you for signing up to my Star Trek Blogfest. You have an awesome blog, and I'm a new fan!

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  13. Don't forget about Monopoly, directed by Ridley Scott. Remember when people celebrated originality?

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  14. @Ellie-- Thanks for your kind words. I'm following you now as well.

    @Kamatacci-- Yes a monopoly movie would be epic right?

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