The 17 Most Ridiculous Things on 'The Walking Dead' + Spoilers
Writers are people and sometimes what looks good on paper doesn't come across well on screen. The television show has also had production problems, such as the high turnover of executive producers and budget cuts. You can read all about there here. But this post is in good fun and not meant to upset any of 'The Walking Dead' fans out there. Consider this a "What Would You Do" questionnaire Walking Dead-style. Please feel free to add ridiculous things I may have missed.
17. You're exhausted, hungry, and a little crazy (so you're not firing on all cylinders). Your boyfriend whom you adore has been killed and has turned into a walker. You cut off his head so you can still have his company. A snarling head is better than nothing right? You have your own personal "Wilson" with teeth (see Castaway). You and the head are hungry so you go out to find food for both of you. Do you...
|Clara (Kerry Condon)|
- a.) You fully plan to feed your head until you meet Rick (Andrew Lincoln). Seeing another person gives you renewed perspective and purpose. You realize now that there are other people, you come to your senses, and ask him to take you with him to his camp.
- b.) Bring the head to the meal. After all, a head is easier to carry! And you can even throw the head onto an unsuspecting stranger.
- c.) Go out into the woods looking for food or perhaps a stranger to kill so you can feed your only companion. You will have to carry this food all the way back to your camp. It would be easier if you could convince a person to follow you all the way back to camp so you can kill them, but you are far too weak. You are thin as a rail and nearly dead, so either way you will likely die in the process.
16. You've got a killer bod, you're in the south and it's summertime,...oh but it's the zombie apocalypse. What do you wear?
|Rosita (Christian Serratos)|
- a.) Wear workout clothes for maximum movement?
- b.) Wear a white linen shirt with jeans?
- c.) Wear a wet suit to protect from zombie bites like the guy in 'Apocalypse Z' (not to be confused for 'World War Z').
- d.) Wear a skimpy Lara Croft-like outfit and an exposed midriff.
15. Someone is feeding rats to the walkers by the fence. Do you...
- a.) Start a watch specifically for the fence. Perhaps you should have a team of people working in shifts manning the fence anyway?
- b.) Start interviewing the children in the community. Sometimes children don't understand the gravity of a situation. Thus, it's likely that a child is doing this.
- c.) Do nothing and just hope it sorts itself out?
14. The man who killed your brother (the Governor) walks into your trailer with your brother's blood on his hands. He tells you that your brother was weak, needed to be killed, and wants you to be his right hand man. Do you...
|Mitch (Kirk Acevedo)|
- a.) Try to take him out then and there.
- b.) Stay calm and bide your time, all the while planning the Governor's demise...and maybe a little revenge.
- c.) Run away. You can make it on your own better than living in a camp run by a psychopath.
- d.) Get a little upset, but figure "oh well, you're brother probably had it coming." Anyone who kills your brother deserves your begrudging respect.
13. You witnessed the Governor unravel. You saw him try to kill the people at the prison, murder his own people when they disagreed with him, and then slowly go mad. After a six months or so you see the Governor and a little girl in a walker pit. Do you...
|Megan (Meyrick Murphy) and the Governor (David Morrissey)|
- a.) Help the little girl out of the pit. Put a bullet in the Governor's head and leave him in the pit to rot?
- b.) Help the little girl out of the pit. Help the Governor out of the pit. Tell the Governor and his new family to skedaddle before you change your mind. Tell everyone (including your group) that this guy is a nutball and they need to stay clear of him?
- c.) Allow the Governor to join your group, knowing that he will at some point try to take it over and try to kill you?
|The Governor (David Morrissey) feeds Martinez (Jose Pablo Cantillo) to the walkers|
12. You live on the upper floor of a small apartment building. There are a few walkers throughout the building, but nothing you can't handle. You've been living there for several years without incident. You've managed to get your dying father oxygen and keep your family fed with your father's nearby food supply truck. A handsome mysterious stranger comes calling. He looks wild and strange, but he proves himself to be helpful and he's considerate. When he leaves do you...
|Tara (Alanna Masterson), Lily (Audrey Marie Anderson), and Megan (Meyrick Murphy)|
- a.) Give the stranger some of your plentiful beef jerky and wish him well. Now that he's explained how you kill walkers (by a shot to the head) you can finally clear the apartment building of any lingering walkers nearby and continue your peaceful, but boring existence.
- b.) Seeing a stranger makes you realize that the biggest danger at this point is other people. It would probably be a good idea to start scouting for other locations. After the stranger leaves, you start scouting for alternate locations just in case of emergencies. You ask the stranger to stick around if he wants, but you make your emergency plans with or without him.
- c.) Leave the relative safety of the apartment building to follow this stranger?
11. A sea of walkers herds to a weak spot in the fence. Do you...
|'The Walking Dead' Season 4|
- a.) Pull out the automatic weapons you've been hoarding in a bin near the fence, fully loaded and ready to go.
- b.) Allow the walkers to breach the outer fence, try to spread them out while you are safely behind the inner fences. You can kill them one at a time and start repairs to the outer fence once you control the herd.
- c.) Or do you hamstring live pigs and throw them to the walkers? '
10. Walkers are an ever present danger. How do you defend yourself against massive groups (or herds) of walkers?
|Morgan (Lennie James) defending his town|
- a.) Take some serious pointers from Morgan (Season 1 and 3). That man was able to clear a whole town BY HIMSELF. Set up an entire crew whose sole job is walker defense and clearing.
- b.) Try to scavenge a flame thrower or at least start creating Molotov cocktails to firebomb groups of walkers. It's a lot easier to deal with living dead burnt skeletons.
- c.) Set up a crew to poke walkers at the fence and take a few pointers from Morgan (a few impalers here and one or two walker pits), but there's no need to really go all out. The fence will keep us secure.
9. You find out that Carol may have killed two sick people in order to protect the community. Do you...
|Carol (Melissa McBride) and Rick (Andrew Lincoln)|
- a.) Do nothing. Keep your thoughts to yourself.
- b.) Warn Carol that she can't act unilaterally anymore. Tell only your most trusted people, Hershel, Darryl, and Maggie. We all know that Glenn can't keep a secret. Explain to Carol that if any other sick people end up dead before their time then she will be exiled. Keep the secret for the good of the community. Try to give Carol a second chance.
- c.) Kill Carol right then and there.
- d.) Exile Carol. She's too dangerous to be trusted.
Some people think what Carol did was right, some people think it was wrong. Had Carol not killed two Red Shirts, but two main characters, would people feel differently? Considering how airborne viruses work, her actions would likely be (and were) futile. If you were sick and fighting for your life would you want Carol to be your nurse? If I'm ever sick around Carol, I'll take my chance in the woods. However, given that they were already short on people and this is the zombie apocalypse, should an able-bodied (mostly sane) person have been sent away? Perhaps she would have been instrumental in helping more people get to safety when the Governor attacked?
8. There's a flu outbreak with a seeming 100% mortality rate. Everyone is already infected with a virus that causes them to reanimate, do you...
|'The Walking Dead' Season 4 Dr. Subramania (Sunkrish Bala)|
- a.) Have someone on night patrol in the prison sleeping quarters. You can never be too careful. Someone needs to keep an eye out just in case someone dies and reanimates.
- b.) Make sure that everyone sleeps with a closed cell at night.
- c.) Make sure that everyone sleeps with their cells shut only after the main doctor who is about to die tells you to.
- d.) You notice that someone has expired from the flu, but instead of closing their cell door or stabbing them in the head, you turn your back on them and try to tend to someone else in need.
7. You like bad boys. In fact the Governor is the 5th psychopath you've dated. You notice that the Governor has a roomful of decapitated living dead heads, a zombie daughter, sponsors zombie fights, and has attacked the prison where your friends are. Do you...
|Via Quick Meme|
- a.) Break up with him. The zombie heads was one step too far.
- b.) Break up with him and stay at the prison. You'd rather be with your friends than in Woodbury.
- c.) Try to play both sides just in case the other group wins out. Perhaps if your friends kill the Governor you can become a dark and terrible queen and rule over all. All will know your name and despair.
- d.) Continue to make excuses for him, continue to sleep with him, think about trying to kill him, but change your mind at the last minute.
6. You've been tied to a chair by the Governor. He has also kindly stabbed Milton in the stomach so that he can slowly die, turn into a walker and kill you, while you are still tied to the chair. Milton tells you that there's a pair of pliers to help you escape near your feet. You take off your shoes to retrieve it with your toes. Do you...
- a.) Focus on the task at hand. Make your primary focus getting a hold of the pliers, you talk to Milton while you do this to keep his spirits up, but you don't stop trying to get the pliers. Your life is at stake here and you can chew gum and walk at the same time. You're a great multitasker.
- b.) Continually stop trying to get the pliers so you can watch Milton as he dies and try to encourage him. You waste probably about five minutes not focused on the pliers while Milton continues to bleed out. Then you suddenly remember "oh yeah, my life is in danger, I better get back to grabbing those pliers."
5. Children are truly our future and they are the most vulnerable people in the apocalypse. Do you...
|Via Roamers and Lurkers|
- a.) Gather the children in groups, instruct them what to do and who to go to in an emergency situation.
- b.) Task certain adults to be responsible for gathering all of the children in an emergency situation. Also enlist alternates, so that if one person dies another one can step in and protect the children.
- c.) Get mad when Carol tries to teach the children practical skills like knife fighting zombies. Children shouldn't be taught practical skills that could possibly save their lives.
- d.) Take care of the children, but when an emergency happens, let the children fend for themselves. Hey, it's the apocalypse.
4. You see the Governor and his merry band of psychos at the gate with tanks, holding two of your own hostage. Before walking over to attempt to talk to the Governor do you...
|'The Walking Dead' Season 4|
- a.) Tell everyone to assume emergency evacuation protocols. Get the bus prepped and ready to go out of sight of the Governor.
- b.) Tell everyone who is able bodied to get their weapons ready and act out your emergency defense method. Everyone has a specific location (or two) that they will fight from. The people who cannot fight and the children are taken into a location deep into the prison. They also have at least two escape routes and an evacuation plan if things go bad.
- c.) Go out meet the Governor and agree to his demands. The Governor has given you to sunset to get the people organized and out. Use that time to get everyone in safe positions and evacuated before mounting an attack against the Governor.
- d.) Go out to meet the Governor with no plan. You can talk him down.
3. It's the apocalypse. You're whole life is an emergency situation. Should you be prepared if there's an emergency to the emergency? In case walkers or other humans (with bad intentions) manage to breach your defenses, should you...
|Via Fear.net and official CDC website|
- a.) Have an evacuation plan and conduct them like fire drills. Give people one to two last resort locations. Make sure everyone knows who and what they're responsible for. Also make sure that there are alternates just in case some people are killed.
- b.) Forget the evacuation plan, those never work anyway. Just have at least one last resort location that everyone can meet at just in case everyone gets separated. You can never be too careful.
- c.) Have neither an evacuation plan or a last resort plan, because who needs it? If things go wrong you can wander aimlessly around rural Georgia hoping that other people may have made it out. Hope is a powerful thing.
2. There are 300 million people in the United States. If only one percent of (able bodied) people survive the initial zombie horde (roughly 3 million), how many zombies will they kill over the course of three years?
|'The Walking Dead' Season 4|
- a.) If there are roughly three million people and most people form groups similar to Rick's group (past and present) and each person kills at least 10 zombies per month or 120 zombies per person every year. That would total to 360 million zombies dead in one year. See Buzzfeed's calculation.
- b.) Yes, people have killed millions of zombies, but you have to take into account that everyone is infected. If an infected person dies they become a zombie, thus adding to the zombie horde. Also, not all 3 million people will be able bodied, some will be older and some will be young. But admittedly, over time the numbers of zombies would be significantly reduced. Many of the older zombies are now immobile after years in the cold and heat. People would be able to retake civilization from the zombie horde. There would be occasional outbreaks, but people would be able to manage them effectively.
- c.) No, zombies are everywhere. No matter how many we kill, more appear. Everyone wants to be an extra on 'The Walking Dead.' Don't forget about all of the zombies coming from Canada and Mexico.
1. If the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) loses power and backup generator power, the CDC will...
|The CDC explodes in 'The Walking Dead' Season 1 Finale|
- a.) Have safety protocols in place for emergencies. The gas or electricity may not work, but the CDC staff has other satellite locations that they can go to. If the CDC staff were forced to remain on site, they would have enough emergency supplies, batteries, candles, food, and proper air ventilation for several years. If forced to remain in this location for extended time, the CDC employees would place rainwater collectors on the roof to collect fresh water and gather nearby supplies. The biggest problem they would face is waste disposal methods. They need to figure out an alternate waste disposal solution, as the plumbing no longer works.
- b.) All of the above, but some labs may sustain minor damage when they lose power. Certain labs that handle deadly viruses have independent power systems and redundant systems, similar to space shuttles. If these labs fail, there are containment procedures in place to prevent viruses from escaping. However, those containment procedures do NOT include subnuclear blasts.
- c.) The entire facility is rigged to blow the second the emergency generator goes down. Not only is the CDC rigged to blow, but it will take two city blocks with it. So if you live in this area, you better move.