Thursday, September 22, 2011

Clearly Nicolas Cage Is A Member Of The Zombie Horde

Nicolas Cage now and in 1870:  His true identity finally revealed.
According to Aiden Redmond of Moviefone, one ebayer has correctly identifed Nicolas Cage as a vampire or a zombie or possibly both. Thus, this ebayer has saved future generations from seeing Nicolas Cage's emotionally draining, terribly written, and overly predicatable movies. Ebayer Jack_Morde says:
"Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it's him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host."
A big thanks to both Jack Morde and Moviefone. They have correctly identified an active member of the zombie horde and his movies can finally be laid to rest.


  1. Cage? A zombie? That explains everything.

  2. If Cage is a zombie, then I guess that explains his movies roles. Rotting brain, bad decisions.

  3. Well he's certainly not an immortal like the Highlander. He's not cool enough.

  4. Didn't he play that long-lived 'man' in The Wizard's Apprentice?

    Hm. I wonder if he *really* needed to read for the part.

    *shiver* Kinda creepy.

  5. It would so AWESOME if it were true but I don't think it is. ;\ Someone probably used photoshop or maybe that's someone related to him.

  6. Seriously? Is that him? It's a carbon copy...reincarnation...yeah. :)

  7. watch out nick!
    they're onto us!
    *ducks behind chair*

  8. i just figure he's an android, what with his 3 facial expressions in total...
    the real question is when will we find Keanu Reeves' old photos?

  9. Oh god, everything makes sense now.

  10. @Movies on my mind-- So true!

    @Melissa-- Ha, yep a rotting brain would explain it.

    @Damon-- Thanks!

    @Alex-- Ha, he's definitely not cool enough to be a highlander.

    @Huntress-- He did and if I had a few extra spaces on the recent worst movies ever list, that most recent Nick Cage movie would be on there.

    @Real Queen-- I don't think it's photoshop or a relation. There this ebayer who sells old photos from the 1800s. I think that everyone has a double out there. Nick Cage's double just happened to live 150 years ago.

    @Laila-- Hmmmm. it's possible :)

    @Vic-- Uh-oh, I think someone else is in the club.

    @Astaroth-- Ha, actually this answer makes the most sense. Nick Cage is an android. So is Keanu Reeves and Steven Segal. Their acting range goes from "A" to "B".

    @DWei-- It does!

  11. hahaha.... somehow, nothing nick cage is accused of surprises me, ever

  12. That photo is beyond CREEPY! I could totally buy that he has been alive all these years...except all these years and his acting hasn't gotten ANY better? He should be the best actor ever by now. Or maybe acting human is his best role? Hmmmmm.

  13. Fantastic!! Love this post...he he...:>)

  14. littlejohn-- Ha, nope.

    Jennifer-- Ha, so true!

    Alice-- Thanks. I'll have to check out your blog too.

  15. I have always been suspicious of this Cage character....
    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.

  16. I had to laugh at this. Thanks for the post.


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