Friday, April 2, 2010


Sam Worthington is a wonderful actor, but this is not a wonderful movie.  Clash of the Titans is contrived, predictable, and boring.  It's a popcorn movie at best, as at times it's semi-enjoyable, but it's not a movie I would see again.  I will say that Liam Neeson looked amazing as Zeus.  There were some portions of the film that were beautifully done but if you want to see a greek myth film done right watch the original--terrible claymation and all.  At least that film had a decent storyline.  Harry Hamlin was great in that movie.  I'm not sure why modern writers forget that it's the story, not the CGI that's most important.  3D does not a movie make.

Harry Hamlin as Perseus in the original film

Plot:  Zeus (Neeson) is the ruler of the heavens, Poseidon king of the seas, and Hades (Ralph Fiennes) (tricked by Zeus) was left to rule the Underworld.  Hades has never forgotten this slight and torments humankind, which is Zeus' creation.  When a group of humans start to question the gods and becomes boastful of Andromeda's beauty, Hades convinces Zeus to allow Andromeda to be sacrificed for the offense, so they don't lose control of humankind.  For their offenses, Zeus gives permission for Andromeda to be sacrificed.  If Argos does not sacrifice her, then the whole city will be leveled by the Kracken, which was made from Hades' flesh.

Enter stage left: Perseus (Worthington).  Throwing the mythology in the trash can, the writers make up the story as they go along.  Evidently it was Hades who killed Perseus' parents and Perseus is adopted or some such.  Io, who I thought was turned into a cow by a goddess in the myth (but not in this movie), reveals to Perseus his true lineage as a demigod and son of Zeus. 

So begins the quest and in order for Perseus to save Princess Andromeda and Argos, he needs to bring back the head of the Gorgon, otherwise known as Medusa.  Shield and sword in hand, Perseus goes on as many jump-the-shark quests as the CGI can muster, most of which are bogus to the myth.  He eventually ends up in Medusa's lair, which is poorly done.  The best Medusa's lair I've seen so far was in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.  Uma Thurman's Medusa turning unwitting patrons to stone in a garden shop was just brilliant. 

Overall, this movie is snore, with beautiful shining things to look at, one of which was Liam Neeson.  Liam Neeson's Zeus was the best looking character in the film.  The Kracken looked like a creature from Doom or World of Warcraft.  For the win!  It appears that the CGI artists are major gamers, imagine that. 


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