Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The 17 Most Ridiculous Things on 'The Walking Dead' + Spoilers

Via Uproxx
I preface this post by saying that I really enjoy this show. In fact I'm a total fan girl. I've read all of the comics, including the most recent ones and I've defended this show to haters many times before. But even I have had to scratch my head and say, "uh, that doesn't make any sense." Most of these scenes are exclusive to the television series and were not in the comics. To be fair, it should come as no surprise that human behavior is complicated and sometimes non-sensical. People do stupid stuff in the real world, so why wouldn't they do stupid stuff in the zombie apocalypse?

Writers are people and sometimes what looks good on paper doesn't come across well on screen. The television show has also had production problems, such as the high turnover of executive producers and budget cuts. You can read all about there here. But this post is in good fun and not meant to upset any of 'The Walking Dead' fans out there. Consider this a "What Would You Do" questionnaire Walking Dead-style. Please feel free to add ridiculous things I may have missed.

17.  You're exhausted, hungry, and a little crazy (so you're not firing on all cylinders). Your boyfriend whom you adore has been killed and has turned into a walker. You cut off his head so you can still have his company. A snarling head is better than nothing right? You have your own personal "Wilson" with teeth (see Castaway). You and the head are hungry so you go out to find food for both of you. Do you...
Clara (Kerry Condon)
  • a.) You fully plan to feed your head until you meet Rick (Andrew Lincoln). Seeing another person gives you renewed perspective and purpose. You realize now that there are other people, you come to your senses, and ask him to take you with him to his camp.
  • b.) Bring the head to the meal. After all, a head is easier to carry! And you can even throw the head onto an unsuspecting stranger.
  • c.) Go out into the woods looking for food or perhaps a stranger to kill so you can feed your only companion. You will have to carry this food all the way back to your camp. It would be easier if you could convince a person to follow you all the way back to camp so you can kill them, but you are far too weak. You are thin as a rail and nearly dead, so either way you will likely die in the process.
The correct answer is c.). You're just about dead so what's the point?

16.  You've got a killer bod, you're in the south and it's summertime,...oh but it's the zombie apocalypse. What do you wear?
Rosita (Christian Serratos)
  • a.) Wear workout clothes for maximum movement?
  • b.) Wear a white linen shirt with jeans?
  • c.) Wear a wet suit to protect from zombie bites like the guy in 'Apocalypse Z' (not to be confused for 'World War Z').
  • d.) Wear a skimpy Lara Croft-like outfit and an exposed midriff.
The correct answer is d.) of course. Just because it's the apocalypse doesn't mean you can't look good. To be fair Rosita is dressed exactly like she was in the comics. Considering all of the other things the television show has changed, perhaps this should have been one of them?

15.  Someone is feeding rats to the walkers by the fence. Do you...
  • a.) Start a watch specifically for the fence. Perhaps you should have a team of people working in shifts manning the fence anyway?
  • b.) Start interviewing the children in the community. Sometimes children don't understand the gravity of a situation. Thus, it's likely that a child is doing this.
  • c.) Do nothing and just hope it sorts itself out?
If you answered c.) then you have answered correctly. Walkers need comfort food too.

14.  The man who killed your brother (the Governor) walks into your trailer with your brother's blood on his hands. He tells you that your brother was weak, needed to be killed, and wants you to be his right hand man. Do you...
Mitch (Kirk Acevedo)
  • a.) Try to take him out then and there.
  • b.) Stay calm and bide your time, all the while planning the Governor's demise...and maybe a little revenge.
  • c.) Run away. You can make it on your own better than living in a camp run by a psychopath.
  • d.) Get a little upset, but figure "oh well, you're brother probably had it coming." Anyone who kills your brother deserves your begrudging respect.
If you answered, d.) then you are a psychopath in training. So why would Mitch Dolgen (Kirk Acevedo) not bat an eye after his brother Pete was literally stabbed in the back? I don't know and this is just another example of one of the most ridiculous things on 'The Walking Dead.'

13.  You witnessed the Governor unravel. You saw him try to kill the people at the prison, murder his own people when they disagreed with him, and then slowly go mad. After a six months or so you see the Governor and a little girl in a walker pit. Do you...
Megan (Meyrick Murphy) and the Governor (David Morrissey)
  • a.) Help the little girl out of the pit. Put a bullet in the Governor's head and leave him in the pit to rot?
  • b.) Help the little girl out of the pit. Help the Governor out of the pit. Tell the Governor and his new family to skedaddle before you change your mind. Tell everyone (including your group) that this guy is a nutball and they need to stay clear of him?
  • c.) Allow the Governor to join your group, knowing that he will at some point try to take it over and try to kill you?
The Governor (David Morrissey) feeds Martinez (Jose Pablo Cantillo) to the walkers
If you answered c.) then you are correct. What's the point of living if you can't put your life in the hands of a known psychopathic killer with an ax to grind? He probably won't do anything, right?

12.  You live on the upper floor of a small apartment building. There are a few walkers throughout the building, but nothing you can't handle. You've been living there for several years without incident. You've managed to get your dying father oxygen and keep your family fed with your father's nearby food supply truck. A handsome mysterious stranger comes calling. He looks wild and strange, but he proves himself to be helpful and he's considerate. When he leaves do you...
Tara (Alanna Masterson), Lily  (Audrey Marie Anderson), and Megan (Meyrick Murphy)
  • a.) Give the stranger some of your plentiful beef jerky and wish him well. Now that he's explained how you kill walkers (by a shot to the head) you can finally clear the apartment building of any lingering walkers nearby and continue your peaceful, but boring existence.
  • b.) Seeing a stranger makes you realize that the biggest danger at this point is other people. It would probably be a good idea to start scouting for other locations. After the stranger leaves, you start scouting for alternate locations just in case of emergencies. You ask the stranger to stick around if he wants, but you make your emergency plans with or without him.
  • c.) Leave the relative safety of the apartment building to follow this stranger?
If you answered c.) then you answered correctly. You only live once right? And now that he's clean shaven and not so mountain 'manish' he's actually kinda hot.

11.  A sea of walkers herds to a weak spot in the fence. Do you...
'The Walking Dead' Season 4
  • a.) Pull out the automatic weapons you've been hoarding in a bin near the fence, fully loaded and ready to go.
  • b.) Allow the walkers to breach the outer fence, try to spread them out while you are safely behind the inner fences. You can kill them one at a time and start repairs to the outer fence once you control the herd.
  • c.) Or do you hamstring live pigs and throw them to the walkers? '
c.) all the way. Those pigs were sick anyway and we're saving those automatic rifles for a rainy day.

10.  Walkers are an ever present danger. How do you defend yourself against massive groups (or herds) of walkers?
Morgan (Lennie James) defending his town
  • a.) Take some serious pointers from Morgan (Season 1 and 3). That man was able to clear a whole town BY HIMSELF. Set up an entire crew whose sole job is walker defense and clearing.
  • b.) Try to scavenge a flame thrower or at least start creating Molotov cocktails to firebomb groups of walkers. It's a lot easier to deal with living dead burnt skeletons.
  • c.) Set up a crew to poke walkers at the fence and take a few pointers from Morgan (a few impalers here and one or two walker pits), but there's no need to really go all out. The fence will keep us secure.
c.) is correct. Emulate Morgan? That guy was crazy and way too careful. He only managed to keep an entire town secure.

9.  You find out that Carol may have killed two sick people in order to protect the community. Do you...
Carol (Melissa McBride) and Rick (Andrew Lincoln)
  • a.) Do nothing. Keep your thoughts to yourself.
  • b.) Warn Carol that she can't act unilaterally anymore. Tell only your most trusted people, Hershel, Darryl, and Maggie. We all know that Glenn can't keep a secret. Explain to Carol that if any other sick people end up dead before their time then she will be exiled. Keep the secret for the good of the community. Try to give Carol a second chance.
  • c.) Kill Carol right then and there.
  • d.) Exile Carol. She's too dangerous to be trusted.
This one is a tough one and there is still a great deal of debate on it. I don't think Rick should have exiled Carol, but I don't think what Carol did was right. So my answer would have been b.), but of course 'The Walking Dead' answer is d.).

Some people think what Carol did was right, some people think it was wrong. Had Carol not killed two Red Shirts, but two main characters, would people feel differently? Considering how airborne viruses work, her actions would likely be (and were) futile. If you were sick and fighting for your life would you want Carol to be your nurse? If I'm ever sick around Carol, I'll take my chance in the woods. However, given that they were already short on people and this is the zombie apocalypse, should an able-bodied (mostly sane) person have been sent away? Perhaps she would have been instrumental in helping more people get to safety when the Governor attacked?

8.  There's a flu outbreak with a seeming 100% mortality rate. Everyone is already infected with a virus that causes them to reanimate, do you...
'The Walking Dead' Season 4 Dr. Subramania (Sunkrish Bala)
  • a.) Have someone on night patrol in the prison sleeping quarters. You can never be too careful. Someone needs to keep an eye out just in case someone dies and reanimates. 
  • b.) Make sure that everyone sleeps with a closed cell at night.
  • c.) Make sure that everyone sleeps with their cells shut only after the main doctor who is about to die tells you to.
  • d.) You notice that someone has expired from the flu, but instead of closing their cell door or stabbing them in the head, you turn your back on them and try to tend to someone else in need.
The correct answer is c.) or d.). You don't have time to pay attention every time someone dies. It can take anywhere from five minutes to three hours for them to turn into walkers. You've got plenty of time.

7.  You like bad boys. In fact the Governor is the 5th psychopath you've dated. You notice that the Governor has a roomful of decapitated living dead heads, a zombie daughter, sponsors zombie fights, and has attacked the prison where your friends are. Do you...
Via Quick Meme
  • a.) Break up with him. The zombie heads was one step too far. 
  • b.) Break up with him and stay at the prison. You'd rather be with your friends than in Woodbury.
  • c.) Try to play both sides just in case the other group wins out. Perhaps if your friends kill the Governor you can become a dark and terrible queen and rule over all. All will know your name and despair.
  • d.) Continue to make excuses for him, continue to sleep with him, think about trying to kill him, but change your mind at the last minute.
The answer is c.) or d.). Either one would suffice. The Governor isn't all that bad. You can change him. Also, why should you stay at that nasty prison? Woodbury is so much nicer.

6.  You've been tied to a chair by the Governor. He has also kindly stabbed Milton in the stomach so that he can slowly die, turn into a walker and kill you, while you are still tied to the chair. Milton tells you that there's a pair of pliers to help you escape near your feet. You take off your shoes to retrieve it with your toes. Do you...
Via JCMells
  • a.) Focus on the task at hand. Make your primary focus getting a hold of the pliers, you talk to Milton while you do this to keep his spirits up, but you don't stop trying to get the pliers. Your life is at stake here and you can chew gum and walk at the same time. You're a great multitasker.
  • b.) Continually stop trying to get the pliers so you can watch Milton as he dies and try to encourage him. You waste probably about five minutes not focused on the pliers while Milton continues to bleed out. Then you suddenly remember "oh yeah, my life is in danger, I better get back to grabbing those pliers."
b.)  is the right answer. You should try to talk to Milton as long as possible. You should also stop what you're doing because there's no time like the present. Milton is dying and he needs your full attention.

5. Children are truly our future and they are the most vulnerable people in the apocalypse. Do you...
Via Roamers and Lurkers
  • a.) Gather the children in groups, instruct them what to do and who to go to in an emergency situation. 
  • b.) Task certain adults to be responsible for gathering all of the children in an emergency situation. Also enlist alternates, so that if one person dies another one can step in and protect the children.
  • c.) Get mad when Carol tries to teach the children practical skills like knife fighting zombies. Children shouldn't be taught practical skills that could possibly save their lives. 
  • d.) Take care of the children, but when an emergency happens, let the children fend for themselves. Hey, it's the apocalypse. 
If you're answer was c.) or d.) then you would fit in well on 'The Walking Dead.'

4.  You see the Governor and his merry band of psychos at the gate with tanks, holding two of your own hostage. Before walking over to attempt to talk to the Governor do you...
'The Walking Dead' Season 4
  • a.) Tell everyone to assume emergency evacuation protocols. Get the bus prepped and ready to go out of sight of the Governor. 
  • b.) Tell everyone who is able bodied to get their weapons ready and act out your emergency defense method. Everyone has a specific location (or two) that they will fight from. The people who cannot fight and the children are taken into a location deep into the prison. They also have at least two escape routes and an evacuation plan if things go bad. 
  • c.) Go out meet the Governor and agree to his demands. The Governor has given you to sunset to get the people organized and out. Use that time to get everyone in safe positions and evacuated before mounting an attack against the Governor. 
  • d.) Go out to meet the Governor with no plan. You can talk him down. 
The answer is obviously d.). Why do you need a plan when the Governor has proven himself to be such a reasonable guy.

3.  It's the apocalypse. You're whole life is an emergency situation. Should you be prepared if there's an emergency to the emergency? In case walkers or other humans (with bad intentions) manage to breach your defenses, should you...
Via and official CDC website
  • a.) Have an evacuation plan and conduct them like fire drills. Give people one to two last resort locations. Make sure everyone knows who and what they're responsible for. Also make sure that there are alternates just in case some people are killed.
  • b.) Forget the evacuation plan, those never work anyway. Just have at least one last resort location that everyone can meet at just in case everyone gets separated. You can never be too careful.
  • c.) Have neither an evacuation plan or a last resort plan, because who needs it? If things go wrong you can wander aimlessly around rural Georgia hoping that other people may have made it out. Hope is a powerful thing.
If you answered c.) then that's the correct answer. Why be prepared when you can have two to four episodes just trying to find other survivors? That's two to four episodes of drama. Why meet in one location when you can all fight for your lives separately? Common sense. Who needs it?

2. There are 300 million people in the United States. If only one percent of (able bodied) people survive the initial zombie horde (roughly 3 million), how many zombies will they kill over the course of three years?
'The Walking Dead' Season 4
  • a.) If there are roughly three million people and most people form groups similar to Rick's group (past and present) and each person kills at least 10 zombies per month or 120 zombies per person every year. That would total to 360 million zombies dead in one year. See Buzzfeed's calculation.
  • b.) Yes, people have killed millions of zombies, but you have to take into account that everyone is infected. If an infected person dies they become a zombie, thus adding to the zombie horde. Also, not all 3 million people will be able bodied, some will be older and some will be young. But admittedly, over time the numbers of zombies would be significantly reduced. Many of the older zombies are now immobile after years in the cold and heat. People would be able to retake civilization from the zombie horde. There would be occasional outbreaks, but people would be able to manage them effectively.
  • c.) No, zombies are everywhere. No matter how many we kill, more appear. Everyone wants to be an extra on 'The Walking Dead.' Don't forget about all of the zombies coming from Canada and Mexico.
The correct answer is c.) of course. Even if you kill 300 million zombies, there will always be 300 million zombies still roaming around. You can't win, not until the show gets cancelled.

1.  If the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) loses power and backup generator power, the CDC will...
The CDC explodes in 'The Walking Dead' Season 1 Finale
  • a.) Have safety protocols in place for emergencies. The gas or electricity may not work, but the CDC staff has other satellite locations that they can go to. If the CDC staff were forced to remain on site, they would have enough emergency supplies, batteries, candles, food, and proper air ventilation for several years. If forced to remain in this location for extended time, the CDC employees would place rainwater collectors on the roof to collect fresh water and gather nearby supplies. The biggest problem they would face is waste disposal methods. They need to figure out an alternate waste disposal solution, as the plumbing no longer works.
  • b.) All of the above, but some labs may sustain minor damage when they lose power. Certain labs that handle deadly viruses have independent power systems and redundant systems, similar to space shuttles. If these labs fail, there are containment procedures in place to prevent viruses from escaping. However, those containment procedures do NOT include subnuclear blasts.
  • c.) The entire facility is rigged to blow the second the emergency generator goes down. Not only is the CDC rigged to blow, but it will take two city blocks with it. So if you live in this area, you better move.
If you answered c.) then you are correct. Everyone knows that in a real emergency if the CDC's emergency generators go down that the CDC will automatically explode. Not only will the CDC explode, but they will take the whole neighborhood with them because that's just how they roll. What's the point of having a multi-million dollar building if you can't blow it up? In fact, the CDC doesn't understand why this didn't happen in June 2007 when lightning knocked out the power (and backup generators failed) at the CDC's $214 million infectious disease building. This building housed Ebola, smallpox, Avian Flu, and other nasties. It was just a fluke though. Next time that place is totally going to blow.


  1. For the love of Pete! I can't stop laughing! It is late, and I need to go to bed how dare you put a hilarious post up right before I log off! #16 I thought What the heck is she wearing! I would invest in Shark chain mail, and wear a helmet like Daft Punk all the time. #10 I would go live with crazy Morgan, at least he is creative in his dispatching of the Walkers.Great Post!

    1. David-- Thanks so much. I'm with you. I would probably be running around in full battle gear. And then I would have brought everyone to Morgan's little town.

  2. Such a funny post! There were definitely a lot of flubs when it came to handling the Governor, such as Martinez accepting him into his group and the prison not being prepared for his return, handling the children and the rats at the fences. I could pretty much go on and on adding my thoughts to those points. I tend to give some leeway with the show/character choices though such as Andrea saying goodbye to Milton. He was a character people cared about and they had to fill an hour of her struggle and the team prison trying to reach her, so I understand a scene like that would be slow and to the point.

    Curious to ask - how do you think the team could have re-enforced the fence? Morgan's defense system was surrounded by cars with impalers set up around it. The prison used the prison concept, but they only had enough vehicles to take them on runs and back.

    1. Hi Katy, thanks. Yes, there were some definite flubs. I think you're likely correct with Milton, although it was so frustrating to watch. I'm sure it was already a foregone conclusion that Andrea was going to die and they probably wanted to give the actor who played Milton as much screen time as they could. I just wish they could have done it a little different.

      I think Morgan had a multitude of traps with the impalers and the rat baits. I do think that the folks at the prison should have dug a freaking moat with tar or something around the walls of the prison. They could periodically go out there and set fire to the things, and then the moat would be ready for more walkers. Idk, there are so many things I would have written differently. I understand that sometimes things cannot be helped, such as the Governor attacking the prison, but there were so many things I would have written differently. I guess it wouldn't be nearly as dramatic, but it would make more sense.

  3. I've been yelling these same things to the tv as they happen. Each one is more frustrating than the next! I love the show, but the plot holes are huge. The writers of Breaking Bad would never let any of these happen.

    1. ResuMayDay-- So true! I've been yelling at the tv right along with you. I love this show, but sometimes it frustrates me. And you're right about 'Breaking Bad.' I've seen a few seasons, but didn't finish. My husband is a BB fanatic. He tells me that the final episodes were very well planned.

  4. I thought #17 was a walker baby. Didn't she make up the story about a lover and it was actually a baby she was trying to keep? Maybe I missed something or it was revealed in the comic and not the show.

    1. Hi thanks for your comment. I don't think it was a walker baby in the tv series. Had it been a walker baby that would have made more sense, as she could have possibly been suffering from post partum depression. From what I remember from that episode she was talking about her boyfriend and how much she loved him and how she was trying to bring food back for him.

  5. Omg you wrote what we've all yelled the whole time. I love the show but I'm always scratching my head like wtf ? Whyyyy?

    1. Hi Danielle- Thanks for your comment! Yes this has been an ongoing list of mine for quite some time. I finally got around to writing it all down. And now after this season I have more to add! :)

  6. OK, here's another one:
    While trying to escape from the Governor, you are running down a country road. You hear a car coming. You run into the woods to hide. Bearing in mind that you survived for a year in the woods with Michonne, so you must be pretty good at this, do you....
    a) Run as fast as you can, paying attention to your surroundings, and making sure you know whether there are walkers around and how far away they are. Hide behind a tree, or throw yourself on the ground for the 7 seconds it takes for the car to go by. Quickly check your area again, get up and stay moving. Be very quiet.
    b) Hide behind the first tree you find, without looking behind it. When the car has passed, continue to lean on the tree, panting loudly, again without looking around, until the walkers who have been behind the tree all along reach around and grab you.

    Answer, of course, is "b".

    This is related to the larger problem that walkers are apparently slow and incredibly noisy (what with all that snorting and snarling) if you can see them, but fast and silent if they are sneaking up behind you. Can't count the number of times that someone looks over their shoulder and finds a walker that was not there 5 seconds ago.
    And here are a couple of survival rules: Never split up and explore a house or building in singles. This seems obvious, but is apparently hard to figure out.
    Never put your hand anywhere you can't see, like over the top shelf in a pharmacy, or into any kind of hole or gap.
    And never, ever, walk backwards. You WILL trip over something and have to be rescued. (I'm talking to you, Carl. And Lizzie. And others.)

    And a technical suggestion: since you can only kill a walker with a head shot, and nobody is ever going to make any more ammunition, it probably doesn't make sense to use automatic weapons on their automatic setting. Although it does make the shooting scenes noisier and more exciting.
    I'll be looking forward to your extended list.

    1. Scott, these are great, thank you!! I need to do a second list.

  7. Holy hell this show sounds hilarious :)

    1. Oh Sati, it is as hilarious as it is infuriating! :)

  8. 1 more thing Why they don't clear the fence (kill the walkers bye the fence) when walkers are few??? they've too many people, if they create teams like team 1, team 2, team 3... send one team to kill the walkers by the fence & after some time send 2 team so 1st team can take rest. they can easily get rid of them.but they only react when fence is in the danger.

    1. Mayuresh-- You make another great point! Thank you. Yet another ridiculous thing on 'The Walking Dead.'

  9. You discover two methods of moving around without getting attacked by the walking dead. One involves covering yourself with the guts and viscera of corpses so you "smell" like a a walker. The other involves having 2 (or more) walkers with amputated arms and lower jaws - to render them harmless - on chains with you wherever you go.

    Do you....

    1) Keep doing one or both of these potentially life-saving things as often as possible, even to the point of rolling in zombie guts to get covered from head-to-toe, since that would be preferable to dying an excruciatingly painful death.

    2) Only do these things occasionally (as a plot device), since life in the zombie apocalypse is far more interesting when you have to constantly worry about running from walkers who can sense you're not one of them immediately.

    1. Erik-- I'm so sorry I haven't responded to this comment sooner! It's awesome. I will have to add this to my second "most" ridiculous post. I'm planning one in the near future.

  10. you keep saying years. It has been 18 months, two years if you stretch it. this was pretty spot on otherwise, and funny.

    1. Hi Tabitha, thanks for your comment. Yes, I suppose in Walking Dead time it was about 2-1/2 to 3 years, not the 6 years it's been on the air.


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